Archive for May, 2012


May 25, 2012


Whenever I walk into a public bathroom stall and see this, I try to put myself in the other person’s shoes. I use empathy to imagine what they were thinking.

It must be something like this:

“My thighs are too precious to touch the toilet seat. But my ass paper… Well, whoever comes in after me can deal with that.”




May 13, 2012

Doing nothing is harder than it looks.

Like a lot of people, I’ll travel thousands of miles and spend thousands of dollars in hopes of doing nothing somewhere else; this hints at the difficulties of doing nothing at home.

Home is a minefield of To Do Lists. Right now I could/should be:

doing laundry

checking work email

paying bills

washing my car

researching Santa Barbara hotels

bleaching the red mold-like growth on my bathroom ceiling

I could go on; indeed, I could go on endlessly. The thing about life is, you never actually get everything done.*

Hence Hawaii.

But even there, even lying on a beach blanket — most of us are still doing a lot: running around Sweden in search of a serial killer (if paperbacks are your thing), wondering if it’s time to reapply sunblock, deciding where to have dinner tonight. And, yes, checking work email.

Here’s my question, and it’s not about the beach. What is so scary about doing nothing? —  I mean nothing. No TV or book to escape to, no conversation to distract you. Just you, on the edge of a volcano, surrounded by ocean, gravity keeping everything more or less in place.



* This helps explain why you so rarely see us “I’ll-relax-after-I-get-it-all-done” types swinging in a hammock, smoking a j.