Einstein

I like to think birds are smart, like Alex the talking parrot, but apparently there’s a whole range of avian intelligence, from “birds who can count” to “birds who can hunt” to “birds who can’t.”

I bring this up because on Saturday, a hummingbird with the IQ of a thermos got stuck in my house.

He came in through the front door but kept trying to leave through the window. He would tap it with his beak — the outside world was right there — and when he discovered he couldn’t fly through glass, he’d hover, wings buzzing, and try again. And again. Tap, tap. Buzz, buzz. Cheep, cheep. Tap, tap. Buzz, buzz. Cheep, cheep.

There was no back up strategy. It was heartbreaking. I was worried he was going to die of exhaustion, like the pony in True Grit.

I thought I had never seen such a stupid creature. I mean, what kind of brain failure makes you try the same thing over and over, thinking this time it’ll all work out, this time the glass will become air, this time will be different.

This time, at long last, I’ll get a nose full of nectar.

Tags: hummingbird, True Grit