Archive for March, 2010


March 3, 2010

I have been eating a lot of croissants lately. There’s something about rainy mornings, when your nose is sniffly and the bus windows have so much condensation it’s like riding to work in a crowded shower stall, that just makes you say fuck it. I’m having butter for breakfast.

A similar thing happens at lunch and dinner, except with ham and Yorkshire puddings. Indeed, English food seems tailor-made for the English climate: All that comforting starch and fat.

Even the names could cheer you up on a cloudy day. Who could be glum when ordering the “bubble and squeak”? Or a “jacket potato” – like an ordinary potato, but with a cute outfit. Or a “liver parfait” – which I can only assume combines the unctuousness of liver with the festiveness of a parfait glass.

But my favorite-named food is undoubtedly the “Finger Cream.” How did a roomful of people decide this was a good name for a cookie? Answer: they are English. In America, “Finger Cream” is clearly the name of a movie made in the Valley.

“Ooh, I’d love a Finger Cream.”

“Please give me another Finger Cream.”

“You know what I’m in the mood for? A nice Finger Cream.”